Tom Cruise sings Wanted Dead or Alive in new Rock of Ages trailer: dreadful?

It seems like forever since Tom Cruise was announced to play Stacee Jaxx in the movie adaptation of Broadway’s Rock of Ages, and at this point, I’m just ready to get this painful mess over with when the movie releases on June 15. Of course, we’ve already had to endure Tom rocking out on a balcony to universal cringes because he (presumably) felt the world deserved a preview of the fruits of his 10 hour per day song and dance regime. This is not to say that witnessing Tom as a rock star hasn’t been somewhat enjoyable, what with the rock-star lifts and the shirtless writhing from the movie’s first trailer. I’ll admit that the first one really was a campy and fun trailer to behold in a “so bad it’s kind of good” sort of way, but the second theatrical trailer has been released, and it’s just a mess. Check it out, and we’ll discuss:

This trailer really seems like no one bothered to seriously edit it beyond tossing a bunch of flashing lights and scenes together. Why did anyone feel that including anger-bear Alec Baldwin saying “omigod, I just threw up … in my pants” was a necessity? Beyond that, Julianne Hough is a cutie (on paper, this movie seems like the ideal role to showcase her talents), but try as I might, I just can’t warm up to Diego Bonita. Russell Brand’s hair looks even more ridiculous than usual, and Paul Giamatti and Catherine Zeta-Jones are clearly there for the paychecks. As for Tom belting out Bon Jovi’s “Wanted Dead or Alive” … I’m feeling very underwhelmed. Tom should’ve added more cheese, but it seems like he’s taking the role quite seriously. No surprises there, right?

Photos courtesy of AllMoviePhoto and New Line Cinema

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